The beginning

It's no secret that the ballet world is destructive. The very nature of what we put ourselves through day in and out breaks us and in short... the human body is simply not designed to do what we do. With this in mind it's no wonder that the ballet world is a haven for broken bodies and minds, with the vast majority of dancers having suffered a pretty significant injury or mental illness. I'm no different. 

I left home a naïve 11 year old ready to start ballet school and begin chasing my dreams. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Nine years later, after tumbling oh so gracefully down that slippery slope, I find myself living 4500 miles away from home with enough mental and physical trauma for a lifetime. The constant rejection, feelings of inadequacy, and aching joints and muscles are countered only by those few wonderful moments spent on stage performing. With the current pandemic preventing many of us from doing so it's easy to forget why we love and do what we do. 

During my time training and eventually dancing professionally I've experienced more than my fair share of mental and physical ailments, and each time the same question runs through my head; "why me?". I was always very dedicated, practicing in the studio after hours, doing extra conditioning, and passing up social events in order to focus more on dance so it always confused me why I was faced with so many obstacles. It's easy to become disheartened and give up when it seems like you're fighting a losing battle but that's what sets dancers apart from most other teenagers; no matter how many problems we face we never give up, each set back just makes us more determined to prove people wrong and succeed. 

This blog will focus on my journey as I undergo hip surgery and attempt to return to a career in professional dance, whilst juggling school and coping with the COVID-19 pandemic and its eventual aftermath. I will use it to explore how my experiences throughout my time at ballet school and my career thus far have changed me as a person and delve into what it takes to build and rebuild a ballerina.