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28 days and counting...

 Today marks 4 weeks exactly until my surgery and I'm becoming more and more anxious by the day. Suddenly I am facing all kinds of problems that I never even considered a possibility that could mean the surgery may not even happen. Living in the US means that I have to organise and make sense of health insurance- something that I never had to do before, living in the UK with the National Health Service. I am also having to find and register with a GP in order to get a pre-op assessment done to be cleared for surgery which is much easier said than done since none of them seem to have any availability before the middle of November!  The uncertainty is my biggest enemy at this point. I had thought that once I had chosen to have the surgery and scheduled it then my anxiety would calm down and I would be able to just focus and building up strength to aid in my recovery- apparently this isn't the case. All of the stress of trying to figure out a completely different healthcare system
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The beginning

It's no secret that the ballet world is destructive. The very nature of what we put ourselves through day in and out breaks us and in short... the human body is simply not designed to do what we do. With this in mind it's no wonder that the ballet world is a haven for broken bodies and minds, with the vast majority of dancers having suffered a pretty significant injury or mental illness. I'm no different.  I left home a naïve 11 year old ready to start ballet school and begin chasing my dreams. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Nine years later, after tumbling oh so gracefully down that slippery slope, I find myself living 4500 miles away from home with enough mental and physical trauma for a lifetime. The constant rejection, feelings of inadequacy, and aching joints and muscles are countered only by those few wonderful moments spent on stage performing. With the current pandemic preventing many of us from doing so it's easy to forget why we love and do what
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